Common Ground
by x-x-Rhii-x-x
Summary: In between dubious brownies, getting drunk and stealing Erik's face cream, the inhabitants of Xavier mansion sometimes find time to talk. X-Men: FC. A series of dialogues that sometimes interconnect. Slight Cherik, hints of any other pairing you like.
1. Last Night

**A series of drabblish dialogues – set during training week in X-Men: FC – that sometimes interconnect. Slight Cherik, hints**__**of Alex/Hank (Hex?) and any other pairing you want to see, basically. Reviews are always appreciated! Oh yeah, and I don't own anything or anyone in the X-Men universe.**

**xoxo**

_Charles and Erik_

"Do you really, truly hate humans?"

"I thought you were a telepath."

"All of them, though? Every single one of them?"

"Yes. Well, I suppose the one who lent us his base was okay. Shame he got brutally murdered…what _was _his name?"

"What about Moira?"

"What?"

"Do you hate her?"

"Well, she isn't exactly falling over herself to make friends with me, is she?"

"That doesn't answer my question, Erik."

"…No. I don't _hate _her. I don't _like _her, though."

"Why not? She's perfectly pleasant."

"She's also head-over-heels in love with you."

"She is not!"

"Don't be delusional, Charles. It's pretty obvious she thinks the sun shines out of your –"

"– Erik, really! Are you jealous of her?"

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?"

"I don't know. You've no need to be upset; I don't like Moira like that. Haven't you worked that out by now?"

"…Yeah, I think I might have worked that out last night."

"Erik!"


	2. A True Patriot

**Second part for you all…reviews are still much appreciated, of course. And I still haven't bought the rights to the X-Men universe yet, so until I get around to that...**

_Raven and Moira_

"M-Moira – ah…I can't feel my face."

"You smell of whiskey."

"D-do I? That sh-sure is funny; I thought I was drinking bleach."

"Really, Raven, drinking alone isn't a great sign."

"Ugh…I feel…sh – _sick_."

"Oh no, you don't! Not in this room. Not with all this priceless antique furniture. Do you think you can manage the walk to the bathroom before you puke your guts out?"

"T-that depends."

"On what exactly?"

"Where am I?"

"In the living room."

"Wish – uh – which one?"

"…There's more than one living room?"

"F-fi-five. There's five."

"You know what? Never mind. Just lean on me."

"Thanksh – uh, thanks, Moira. You're great, you know that?"

"Yes, I do."

"And m-modest, too. Yeah-sh – yes. That's what I like about you, Moira. You're so cool. Yeah. Totally g-gr-_groovy_."

"Raven, please stop trying to transform into Charles."

"T-trying?"

"You still have blonde hair."

"Oh."

"And breasts."

"Well…imagine I'm Charles…in drag!"

"…Dear Lord, the things I do for the good of this country."


	3. Dubious Brownies

**Chapter 3…hope you enjoy.**

**xoxo**

_Erik and Sean_

"Sean, what are you doing?"

"Stay away from me you – you – you _scary person_!"

"Okay, okay. What are you doing?"

"Eating."

"Are they – Sean, have you been making those brownies again?"

"No. Well. Maybe a bit…"

"That doesn't even make sense, you know."

"Shoving me off a freaking satellite dish didn't make much sense either!"

"Touché."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"God, you really are stoned, aren't you?"

"No. Well. Maybe a bit…"

"Look, I'm sorry I pushed you off the satellite dish, alright?"

"Yeah, because you look _so _apologetic."

"No, no! Seriously. I am. Really. Really apologetic. _Totally _apologetic. Completely –"

"If you want one of the brownies, just ask, man."


	4. A Close Call or, The Joy of Books

**Part four. Possibly less humorous than the others, methinks. Reviews are still very much appreciated…speaking of reviews, WithlovefromTorchwood (who reviewed anonymously): I think you'll have to fight Erik if you want one of those brownies! **

**xoxo**

_Raven and Hank_

"Hank, what's this?"

"Oh, that's caesium. It's kept under oil to stop it reacting with the air. It's quite a fascinating metal, really. It's in Group One on the Periodic Table."

"Oh, right. They're alkali metals, aren't they?"

"How do you know that?"

"Charles used to have this massive poster of the Periodic Table in our flat in Oxford."

"Oh. Oh, I see. Right. That makes sense."

"Is something wrong, Hank?"

"No! No, nothing."

"I know you, Hank. What's the matter?"

"It's just…well, I…Raven, what's the deal with you and Charles? Are you, like, uh…?"

"Oh dear God, no! Oh, that would be awful. He's just my brother, and that's all he's ever been."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"Don't be. It's fine."

"I really am –"

"No, honestly, Hank. It's absolutely fine."

"Okay…"

"So, if that's caesium, is this one francium?"

"Well, I wouldn't advise touching it to find out. No seriously –"

"– That was a close call, wasn't it?"

"Would you mind terribly if I just showed you some books next time?"


	5. Domestic Duties

**Yes, I chose the most ridiculous German terms of endearment I could find. Have fun Googling them…meanwhile, I hope you enjoy.**

**xoxo**

_Charles and Erik_

"So, read out the shopping list for me."

"Sugar, eggs, cereal, milk, butter, marijuana…"

"Erik, who wrote this list?"

"I don't think you need three guesses,_Kuschelbär_."

"No, I suppose not, _Schnuckelchen_. He's getting worse by the minute, I swear. But – wait a second – that doesn't look much like his handwriting…"

"Mm-hm. Oh, look, he's asking for brownie mix too."

"Erik, are you absolutely sure that it wasn't you who wrote this list?"

"…Stop looking at me like that."


	6. Delicate Sensibilities  Part I

**Since the last chapter was so short, I'm updating even faster than usual. Raven discovers Erik's darkest secret, and conveys to him some rather disturbing news, by way of several overly verbose sentences. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for all the reviews so far!**

**xoxo**

_Raven and Erik_

"Hey, Erik, what's that?"

"What's what?"

"That, on your table. What is it?"

"Uh…nothing. Nothing you'd be interested in –"

"– Is that – oh my God, Erik – is that _face cream_?"

"No! No, it is most definitely not. It's…multipurpose moisturiser."

"It says face cream on the label."

"I do not use face cream!"

"Hey, Erik?"

"Yes?"

"Can I borrow your face cream?"

"It is not face cream!"

"Fine. Can I borrow your _multipurpose moisturiser_?"

"No."

"Why not? Is it too expensive to risk sharing? Are you worried I'll use too much?"

"Shut up, Raven."

"Only when you admit that it's face cream."

"IT IS NOT FACE CREAM."

"Yeah, yeah. And your relationship with my brother isn't completely, utterly, one-hundred-percent, carnally, unabashedly homosexual – seriously, Erik, pull the other one. Also, tell Charles to stop projecting so strongly when you two are in bed together. I think Moira enjoys it a little bit _too _much, if you know what I mean."

"…Um…"

"So, I'll leave you alone to deal with the flagrant abuse of your clearly delicate sensibilities. I'm taking your face cream with me. I _will _overuse it, and you won't complain, because I've been forced to watch you make passionate love to my brother _way _too many times."

"Well, go steal something off your brother, then!"

"I already have."

"…Dare I ask what?"

"Let's just say that I'm sure there's some butter left in the kitchen, if you really can't restrain yourselves for one night."

"…Raven?"

"Yes?"

"Please get out of my room before I lose control of my powers and strangle you."

"Talking of losing control of your powers, you might want to fix Hank's bed later. All the screws fell out of it last night, you know. His room is right underneath yours. Isn't that funny?"

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

"For the love of all things holy, take the face cream and go away."

"Aha!"

"What?"

"So it _is _face cream!"


	7. A Woman's Work

**Thanks for all the reviews, favs and alerts so far…I hope you like part seven. It's Moira again, because I like it when she has a personality.**

**xoxo**

_Alex and Moira_

"So, what d'you get to do at the CIA?"

"Oh, well, we do all sorts of things…"

"Do you get to go out on car chases?"

"No, I can't say that we do. Not in my department, anyway."

"Oh, okay. D'you ever get parachuted into enemy territory?"

"I think you're confusing me with Nancy Wake."

"Who?"

"Ask Erik."

"…Okay. Well, then, do you ever get to shoot people?"

"Sometimes we have to shoot people, yes."

"Have you ever shot anyone?"

"…Once."

"Did they deserve it?"

"Does anyone ever deserve to be shot, Alex?"

"Depends on what they've done."

"Then, yes. He did deserve it."

"…Hey, do you ever get to blow stuff up?"

"All the time."

"Seriously?"

"No."


	8. A Long Way to Tipperary

**Part 8 for you all. Charles' house has a microwave because he's rich. That is the only explanation I can give you, I'm afraid. If you want, you can read more about the history of microwave ovens on Wikipedia, but unlike me, you probably have better things to do with your time.**

**Hope you like it!**

**xoxo**

_Raven and Charles, with a slight interlude from Sean_

"Charles, do you remember the time when we were kids and we made snacks in the kitchen?"

"Vividly."

"Well. It's, um, happened again."

"Oh my God, the kitchen's on fire?"

"No! No, it's not quite as bad as that yet, but –"

"– IT'S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY!"

"Raven, dare I ask how Sean learnt that song?"

"Um, well...I totally didn't teach it to him, if that's what you're thinking. Because, hey, I hate that song. Who doesn't, right?"

"IT'S A LONG WAY TO GO – HEY RAVEN, THIS SONG IS AWESOME, RIGHT?"

"Thank you for that spectacularly unconvincing denial, Raven."

"_Anyway _– I think the wallpaper in the kitchen might need replacing."

"…Great."

"And Sean burnt his nose getting the popcorn out of the microwave."

"Great."

"Then he broke it with his screams."

"Great."

"Can you say something other than _great_, please?"

"Considering what I was thinking of saying, _great_ suits the situation perfectly."

"Oh, yeah, and I forgot to mention that Erik stole your best brandy from the liquor cabinet."

"The one that cost more than my car, you mean?"

"That's the one. Yeah. Only, he drank a bit too much, and now he's been sick on the carpet in your study."

"I would say _great_, but sarcasm only stretches so far."

"IT'S A LONG, LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY!"

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

"Would you be as kind as to go back into the kitchen and put Sean's head in the microwave for me?"

"BUT MY HEART'S RIGHT – OW, ALEX YOU ABSOLUTE BAS–"

"– I think Alex got there before me."


	9. The Perils of Collecting Watercress

**Alex/Hank subtext if you squint. Or wear slash goggles. Either will work. Also, slight trigger warning for flippant mentions of mental illness.**

**xoxo**

_Alex and Hank_

"You look mentally scarred, Bozo."

"Don't call me that. Besides, I am."

"What, a bozo?"

"No, you imbecile. I'm mentally scarred."

"What happened, man?"

"I found Erik and the Professor."

"Oh, _man_. Where were they this time?"

"In the greenhouse. All I wanted was some watercress for an experiment!"

"Instead, you found them experimenting in each other's watercress."

"That is possibly the most disgusting euphemism I have ever heard in my entire life."

"If you want disgusting, Bozo, then I'm your guy."

"…I don't want disgusting. I want nice. I want normal. I want _sanity_. Why do I feel like the only sane person in this whole mansion?"

"Maybe that's because Raven's busy painting your room bright pink –"

"– _What?_"

"…Anyway, I'm not insane! I'm just…eccentric."

"You keep telling yourself that, Alex."

"I don't have to – the voices in my head do it for me."

"…Please tell me that you're joking."


	10. Happy Families

**Thank you so much so far for all the reviews – they've all been absolutely brilliant to read! Hope you enjoy part ten…**

**xoxo**

_Charles and Alex_

"Alex, I was hoping to speak to you."

"What's up, Professor?"

"It's nothing serious, Alex, don't worry – it's just that I'd really much prefer it if you were to stop leaving your dirty socks lying around in the corridors."

"Well, Professor, now that you mention it, I'd _really much prefer it _if you were to stop groping Erik in the laundry room all the time. I mean, seriously, it's difficult to know when it's safe to go in."

"…Well, Alex, we don't always get what we want in life, do we?"

"I'm glad we understand each other, Professor."

"What are you – wait a second – Alex Summers, get back here and put your filthy socks back on _right _now!"

"Sorry, Mom. Places to be, and all that jazz."

"…I am NOT the mom, young man!"


	11. Delicate Sensibilities  Part II

**Raven takes it into her head to (once again) offend Erik's delicate sensibilities. Well, you can only push a girl so far. **

**I don't know how much longer **_**Common Ground**_** is going to run, but I'm hoping to get to fifteen chapters, at least. I'm running out of steam, though, so if you have any interesting ideas or character combinations you'd like to see, feel free to let me know in the reviews…**

**xoxo**

_Erik and Raven_

"Raven, what are you doing?"

"Trying not to die. How about you?"

"What?"

"Never mind. You wouldn't happen to have any painkillers, would you?"

"I'm sorry, but you seem to be confusing me with a walking pharmacy."

"Well, I'm getting desperate. Sean ate all the tablets in the bathroom, so…"

"…_Ate them?_ Why is that boy not dead yet?"

"I know, right? Anyway, he ate them all, and I've been around asking, but Hank only has dangerous chemicals, and Alex laughed and told me to stop being such a girl."

"Oh, dear."

"Yeah, you might want to check on him later. He was crying in the foetal position when I left him."

"Um. What did you do to him?"

"I kicked him in an unpleasant place. Don't look at me like that! I only did it, uh, six times."

"Oh, right – wait, did you say _six times_?"

"Yeah. Well, anyway, I suppose if you don't have any tablets, I'd better – _ow_!"

"Are you okay, Raven?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"It's just that you don't look fine to me."

"Well, I _am_."

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes_."

"Absolutely?"

"FINE! You win. No, I'm not fine. I am bleeding from my uterus, and it hurts, and it happens every freaking month and all I want is some _bloody _painkillers, and if I don't get them soon I might just be forced to murder someone!"

"…Get your coat; I'll drive you to the shops."

"Thanks, Erik, you're the best. Hey, you look a bit pale, you know. Was it something I said?"


	12. Not the Nose

**Thanks to everyone who gave me their ideas; I'll do my best to oblige! The Singing Duck was the inspiration/challenger for this part. Erik and Moira have a (hopefully) humorous interaction…**

**xoxo**

_Moira and Erik_

"What's your favourite type of sugar?"

"What?"

"Just answer the question."

"…Demerara."

"Why?"

"I like coffee."

"Okay, then. Your turn."

"Do we have to do this?"

"Yes."

"I refuse to do this. Charles is an idiot. Why is he making us do this?"

"Speaking of Charles, where _is _he?"

"You should know; you're the one who stalks him and listens in on us having sex."

"I do not listen in on you having sex! It was just the once…or twice…completely accidental – I'm going to kill Raven…"

"You do that. Actually, why don't you go and do that right now, and leave me in peace?"

"Because Charles said that we have to find out more about each other so that we can learn to be civil."

"What does Charles know? We can be perfectly civil."

"Yes, just not towards each other."

"Really, all this fuss, just because I tried to strangle you."

"Yes, isn't it ridiculous?"

"Stop rolling your eyes, you completely deserved it."

"Likewise."

"I did _not_ deserve to be punched repeatedly in the face, Moira."

"Don't get all uppity just because you didn't expect me to be any good at hand-to-hand combat."

"Well, in my defence, you are…"

"…If you say _a woman_, I'll punch you again."

"Actually, I was going to say that you only weigh about a hundred pounds soaking wet. You don't look like the sort of person who has so much upper body strength."

"Well, you don't look like the sort of person who flips out when people laugh at your bad attempt at singing."

"It was not a bad attempt at all! You're obviously tone deaf."

"I don't think I'm the one with the problem."

"Everyone struggles with that note, with the exception of professional opera singers."

"If you say so."

"I do say so!"

"Great. Can you just say that next time, instead of putting me in a headlock?"

"May I remind you that I'm the one with the black eye and bloody nose?"

"Oh, come on, you can easily cover them up with make-up."

"Excuse me, did you just say _make-up_?"

"I didn't think you'd be particularly averse to it. You use face cream, right?"

"I do not use – it is not – I'm going to kill Raven."

"Well, that makes two of us, then. Maybe we should team up."

"We'd never manage to co-ordinate, you know."

"No, probably not…hey, do you think this counts as a civil conversation?"

"Definitely not, you evil harridan."

"That's just as well, Mr Psycho-Strangler. At least now I get to practise my right hook a bit more. It felt rather weak earlier, when I was making mincemeat of your face."

"…I take it all back. You're a lovely person. Really. You're great. Oh, God. Not the nose, please, _not the nose_…"


	13. A Clockwork Orange and Some Copper Oxide

**Some more Hank and Alex friendship (draw your own conclusions) for you all…I have some Alex/Sean, Sean/Moira, Hank/Sean and, obviously, more Cherik lined up. But if you have any more suggestions, let me know. **

**Sorry it's been a while since I last updated – I recently started my first year at college, so I've been a bit rushed off my feet. Still, I'll try to be as consistent as I can! Hope you enjoy part 13…**

**xoxo**

_Hank and Alex_

"Are you – is that – is that a _book_?"

"Do you have to sound so surprised, Bozo?"

"Don't call me that! It's just…well, I didn't know…I didn't know that you read. You know, books."

"Yeah, well, I didn't spend my whole life in solitary confinement, Bozo."

"I told you not to call me that!"

"Whatever, Bozo."

"…So, what are you reading, anyway?"

"_A Clockwork Orange_."

"Wow."

"Again, your surprise is a bit insulting."

"Mm…hey, isn't the main character called Alex?"

"Yeah. You know, man, I feel a bit like him, sometimes."

"How so?"

"Well, you know, we're both criminals. We've both been in jail. And I'm fairly sure I've listened to classical music once or twice."

"…Well, okay, but…isn't Alex kind of evil?"

"Which Alex are you talking about here, Bozo?"

"Don't call me – the one in the book, you idiot. He's evil. You're…well, you're not."

"Hey, you mean that, Hank?"

"…Well, yes. Except for when you sneak into my lab and hide my copper oxide. Then you're pretty much evil incarnate."

"Oh. Sorry about that. Raven dared me."

"That's okay – hey, wait a minute. Did you call me Hank earlier?"

"What? No. No, of course not. I have absolutely no recollection of that happening at all. No way. Never in a million years, you…you Bozo."


	14. Helicopter Trees

**Part fourteen for you all. This one might be a little weird. But hey, it does feature Sean. Hope you enjoy it; reviews will be kept in a box and poked with a stick.**

**xoxo**

_Sean and Moira (haha, S&M…I'm so immature)_

"Hey, Moira!"

"Sean…hi."

"Hey. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. You smell like a forest. All green and…leafy. Yeah."

"Are you, by any chance, drunk?"

"N-no, that's Alex. Alex is drunk. Alex. At the moment. Alex at the moment. Ha, that sounds like a good band name."

"For goodness' sake, can no one in this godforsaken mansion go a single night without ingesting some addictive substance or other?"

"Yeah. You."

"Fair enough."

"Well, I'm gonna…gonna go sit in that tree now."

"What?"

"I like trees. Do you? Trees are funny. Haha. Trees."

"Which tree are you thinking of sitting in, exactly?"

"Um…that one. There. In the corner. On the chair."

"What? That's not a tree, Sean, that's…that's Alex…oh my God, what's happened to Alex's face?"

"Alex? I painted him to look like a tree. Because he is. A tree."

"Alex is a tree?"

"Yes. A syc-syca – one of those flying helicopter tree things."

"Sycamore?"

"No, I'm not sick anymore. Besides, I cleaned…cleaned that up."

"What are you talking about, Sean?"

"Uh, never – never mind. I'm going to go sit in my tree now."

"…Sean, you cannot sit on Alex and pretend that he is a tree."

"YES I CAN."


End file.
